Imagine breaking up and then working with your ex-partner to come up with an agreement that deals with: dividing your assets and debts; mapping out a comprehensive parenting plan and schedule for parenting time of your children; and addressing spousal support and child support. Imagine doing it with no lawyers or minimal lawyer involvement. It can be done!
There are couples that are doing this, have done this and will do this.
Many couples want to make sure that they maintain the quality and interconnected aspects of their relationship and family that were healthy and good.
They want their post-separation life to be enhanced not destroyed or potentially infused with an adversarial lens that was not there in the first place. They want to foster and build their lives with respect and fairness and kindness moving forward. (Note: This can also be done in collaborative law and mediation settings.)
If this is you – then here are some things to think about.
What does it take?
- No history of violence/abuse/control.
- Full financial disclosure!
- An understanding of your legal rights and entitlements and the capacity to enter an agreement (the minimal lawyer involvement option).
- Practical and workable solutions to your post-separation lives.
- A desire to make sure that things are fair and equitable (which may or many not be 50/50 depending on how your relationship/family functioned).
- An acknowledgement and appreciation of each person’s role in the relationship – the paid and unpaid roles each person assumed. Valuing each other.
- A commitment to make sure that each person is left well – financially and emotionally – post-separation (and in some cases into retirement).
- Willingness to compromise, negotiate, revise and continue until each person is satisfied.
- Where children are present, to make the focus the best interest of the children with consideration to how things have been for the children.
- The overall goal being that your separation is a transition of your relationship into something new, different and good.
Once you have this done there is a foundation for an agreement which you may choose to have prepared with the assistance of lawyers or mediators.
With the hard “process” work done and with your legal advice in hand the hope is that what you have created for the terms in your draft agreement will reflect your vision for a positive future post-separation.
Some public legal information resources:
http://www.familylaw.lss.bc.ca/resources/fact_sheets/makingAnAgmtAfterYouSeparate.php#writeSepAgmt
https://www.cbabc.org/For-the-Public/Dial-A-Law/Scripts/Family-Law/115
http://wiki.clicklaw.bc.ca/index.php/Separation_Agreements
✱This is not legal advice. Please consult a lawyer for specific legal advice.