I am privileged to have the opportunity to go in and do some training sessions with new law students entering the legal clinic environment. I provide training on various topics including family violence, practice management tips and family law.
I am always excited to see the new students coming into legal clinics, especially ones where family law issues will be a focus for their clients.
One of the main things I stress is the very distinct area of family law practice.
Family law can be an incredibly satisfying and diverse area of law but it can also be a very stressful area of legal practice. It’s good to prepare students for what they are going to face.
Most junior lawyers or articling students’ first experience with a family law file is being thrown by their firm into the deep end of a marriage breakdown file without a real sense of what they are entering. Unfortunately, this traumatic introduction to family law sometimes creates a long-standing aversion for new lawyers / students who then avoid family law at all costs. See my publication for more, “Not With a Ten-foot Pole“.
The reality is that when someone comes to see a family law lawyer the majority of the time they are coming to you because their relationship is over. Breakups are hard. Very hard.
Divorce is listed as the second most stressful event in people’s lives, with separation being the third most stressful event; number one is the death of a loved one. Think about that for a minute. (See: Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale)
Family law practice is one of the most personal areas of law.
Family law deals with the most sacredly held things in people’s lives: their relationship, their immediate and extended family relationships, their intimacies as a couple, their finances and home, their children, their employment, their work, their businesses, their retirement, their communities, faith, and cultural practice and their hopes, dreams and aspirations.
I often ask students to go back to when they experienced their first breakup and the first time they were heartbroken (the bad one, the one where they couldn’t drag themselves off the floor). Remember those times. They are useful when you practice family law.
They remind you of your humanity and hopefully let you show your compassion in spite of being a lawyer.
It’s hard for clients to come and talk about these very personal matters; for most, their relationship breakdown will mean their entire lives will be changing.
I stress to students the privilege of doing this work and having clients come to us and entrust us with their most closely held and emotionally connected matters.
I stress that while we open a FILE for our clients this is their LIFE. What happens throughout the process – whether the client wishes to litigate, negotiate, mediate, etc. – and how they wish to have their file approached will ultimately impact their LIFE when we close our FILE.
Our clients live with the long-term consequences of their family law matters. Our conduct as lawyers on a file can make this process better or worse and we need to check ourselves as family law practitioners and really listen to our clients.
Matters of the heart are complex but as family law practitioners we can play an important role. We can provide our clients with clear family law advice and help them navigate the practical and legal issues of their breakup. We can assist in reducing their stress regarding these legal matters and disputes. This can be critical for so many clients and can substantially impact their future and their lives.